Life begun at 2008

As most of my friends know that i live and breath music. My first try at song writing was - i think during  late 2008. I scribble a lot and most of my stuff ends up in the dustbin. But this was my first full fledged lyric - so please don't be too critical. Hehe

Funny thing about this is when i wrote this, it was without any intention of dedication. But now it's ironic that I'm facing this situation. Its like I wrote a song for the future me! Anyway here it is, it's called - Be with you

P.S - At that time i used to listen to lot of Green Day, Sum 41 and Blink 182 so you know whats coming.

BE WITH YOU

VERSE ONE

Won't shed a tear now cause of you cause it really makes me weak.

All those things of yesterday still lingers me when i sleep.

All the fake goodbyes , 

The thing that really hurts me is to see you cry.

I wish i could hang on to you , cause the thing i really want is to...

CHORUS

Be with you...

Its the only thing i never managed to...

Be with you...

I dunno whether we"ll be together soon...

But i close my eyes and wish that it were true...

Be with you !!

VERSE TWO

I never bothered to the things you said , they were just like echoes to me in the dark.

I never thought that you would leave and now my whole world is torn apart.

Wish i had a another try...

Wish i could hold your hands and soar to the skies...

I'm sorry we couldn't last...

Try to move on , but my past pulls be right back...

Wish i could hang on to you , cause the thing i really want is to...

Be with you...

Its the only thing i never managed to...

Be with you...

I dunno whether we"ll be together soon...

But i close my eyes and wish that it were true...

Be with you !!

BRIDGE

Never thought i would feel so bad ,

Since your gone my radar's gone off track.

I would swim through the Seven oceans '

In the hope that you would take me back.

But now you're gone and things are never the same ,

I sit in the corner and call out your name.

Shouting , screaming , taking the blaming ...

I only hope that i could see you again...

Be with you...

Its the only thing i never managed to...

Be with you...

I dunno whether we"ll be together soon...

But i close my eyes and wish that it were true...

Be with you !!

 

Yepp that's the little rocker :P

Farewell... but wait we are gonna meet again. So this is more like - see you soon?

Death.. it is kinda intimidating. The fear of leaving behind everyone and everything that you love, that can get to you. But why is "Death" treated to be like something.... bad. Why is it that the general idea that people have about death is that it is the worst thing that could happen to a person? 

Just like it is okay to miss someone and feel sad about it, why can't we treat the two similarly? Everyone will experience death. Is it not an inevitable part of life? After all, we are just human.

Now would i want the people i love and care to come back to my life after they die? Of course - who wouldn't. I would do anything to spend a another day to get some advice about my life by grandfather. I would love to have one last jam session with Tin Tin and tell him that his face looks like someone punched a drunk gorilla. And i would definitely love to go out with my uncle and eat all all kinds of street food that we would come across.... and in that moment i would tell him how much i love him and am grateful for playing such an inspirational role in my life.

But the fact of the matter is that - i CAN'T. 

Yes, it makes me feel sad but it does not disappoint me. 

I always believe that everything happens for a reason and god has a wonderful plan for each and everyone one in this world. Sometimes it is hard and confusing to understand that - " Why does it have to be that way? ". Believe me, i ask myself the same question everyday, but as my pretty mother always says "Everything is gonna be alright in the end", i believe her. I don't have solid proof to justify that everything is gonna be alright but one thing i know is that i trust her and she has never disappointed me. If that makes me a blind believer then yes sire i am.

No, i don't not believe in "KARMA". I sure as hell do not believe that if i do enough good things in this life, my chances of being born as a toilet brush in the next is comparatively less. 
What i do believe is God and i believe as i mentioned before that he has a plan for us all. 

I do not want to go into preach mode right cause i'm the last person that anyone would want to  hear all this from. But i'm grateful for the people who are not here with me anymore but sad too as they are not here with us. Grateful for inspiring me, loving me and teaching me that everything is gonna be alright IN THE END.

"Say not in grief that he is no more - but live in thankfulness that he was...."

You got me

When the fear takes you down

When the doubt takes you under
When you sink like a stone and you can’t breathe
When the tears take control
When the demons take over
Won’t be in this alone
You got me....

When the walls all cave in
When the nights all get colder
When you hang by a thread of sanity
Rest your head on my heart
Hang your pain on my shoulders
Make your way to my arms
Cause you got me....

I’ll be the one to lead you home
I’ll be the one to keep you warm
I’ll take you in out of the storm
When you can’t stand I’ll stand up for you

When the fear takes you down
When the doubt takes you under
You’re not in this alone
You got me....

"Someday you will look back and laugh..."

“Someday you’ll look back and laugh”

This phrase has been a mantra of sorts for me for the past few years. I have suffered through depression and anxiety, and have hit rock bottom in my life more than once. I have lost sleep, stressing about how I was gonna make it to the next day. I have had numerous ups and downs in my life, I have lost dear friends and lost touch with others. However, as I look back on my life and reflect, I feel a strong sense of understanding and purpose.

I firmly believe everything we go through, all of our struggle and suffering, has a reason — a lesson, if you will. It is difficult when you are currently in a tough spot to see outside of your situation and reflect. Often times, when we push through and persevere, we have clarity and perspective. I find that perspective is so important and very necessary for personal growth.

The most important thing I have been able to take with me from all I have been through is understanding fear. Fear drives many people whether it is a lack of fear, a respect for fear or being overtaken and controlled by fear. Can you stand in the face of death, death of a loved one or the mortality of self and not be effected? There is a hidden fear even in the most fearless of us…I could go on.

To come to a conclusion, I come to laughter. What an amazing and beautiful thing laughter is. My sense of humor has been a great tool for me to cope and ease the pressure in my life. Whether its laughter among friends, laughter when watching a movie, a comedian, your favorite show or perhaps, more importantly, laughter at oneself, laughter is good medicine — period.

Some of my darkest times in life have led to some of my deepest laughter, in retrospect…now, when I say that, I am using it figuratively as well as literally. I have had moments where I look back and remember the struggle, I remember the pain and I have been able to feel relief and at times, even just sit and laugh…sometimes until the tears come.

Trust me, laughter literally and figuratively played a huge part in my life…and still does. Just remember no matter what you are going through, “This too shall pass” and when it does, for the love of life, reflect…appreciate and look back. And laugh.

Savin' Me....

"Take a breath, I pull myself together

Just another step until I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you...
I wish that I could tell you something to take it all away


Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up 'til it's over
If it takes you forever, I want you to know...


When I hear your voice,
It's drowning in the whispers
It's just skin and bones, There's nothing left to take
And no matter what I do, I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer to help me understand...

If you fall, stumble down, I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you, I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up,'Cause I'll be waiting if you fall
You know I'll be there for you


If only I could find the answer to take it all away... "

It is true about what they say about music - it's life changing. It changes how you see things in life. It changes your perspective on simple things that you might have had a different opinion about. It changes your attitude towards your friends, family and loved ones. For better or for worse....

You can just feel good music when you hear it, you feel it in your heart, scream it out through your lungs until you feel the goosebumps all over through your body.

The year was 2008 if i recall properly and I was just getting over Bollywood and Hip Hop (believe it or not). Not that anything is wrong with that, its just that all the songs which were aired over the radio and television were themes related to partying, gambling, affairs, drugs, sex and alcohol. Add a groovy beat to it you can sway away any teenager who thinks he/she knows it all.

After some harsh events in my life, i took comfort in some of the above mentioned. Broke up with the only girl who gave a shit about me, disconnected with my family members especially my mother.
Nothing seemed right at that moment. Every thing i tried doing, i failed, miserably if i may add. Disappointed every one i know. Spent many sleepless nights thinking about how i was gonna make it through the next day. As the days progressed i did not see my situation improving until one day.

I still remember it clearly, it was during the early morning school assembly where i saw my school pastor playing the guitar on a gospel song called " Shepherd of my soul". Not that i was influenced by the song but the thing that got me was the sound coming out of the hollowed instrument. I sat there watch him play and even in the loud chitter-chatter among my friends, i could hear every note he played. 

For many days after that, assembly session would be the time i would look forward to. The rest of the day would just go by without even making any sort of difference to me but for those brief 15 mins in the morning, i would feel alive. 

Few months later, my dad would buy me my first guitar (basically the only thing i'm thankful to my dad for). It was cheap 300 buck 2nd hand fenDAR f cut guitar. It didn't come with any fancy packaging, heck it didn't even have all the strings attached. But that guitar was the best thing to happen to me in a very long time. I would spend almost the whole day locked up in my room trying to tune the damn thing. At that time i didn't have a tuner, neither a app to help me with it. At times i would get frustrated and just throw it away, but again i would pick it up and try again. After trying about gazzllion times, i finally managed to tune it and eventually learned how to play simple songs with it.

But this blog post is not about how i learned how i learned to play guitar....

Since i knew how to play easy stuff on the guitar, i decided to expand my horizons a bit and venture into the kind of music which i thought was "NOISE".
I got introduced to artists like Creed, Alter bridge, Killswitch Engage, BFMV, Linkin Park, Nickelback (Yes nickelback), Avril Lavigne, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Bryan Adams etc. I just fell in love with the music these people created. It was so much better than the crap i used to hear. It had meaning, it had application, most importantly i could relate to it. 

As i was going through all the new music from artists from across the globe, i came across a song called Save You by then famous punk rock band called Simple Plan (i'm sure most of you have heard of them). This song even being a simple four chord song like most punk songs, gave me chills from the moment i heard it first. I remember just lying down in bed and playing it over and over again till the sun came up. Isn’t this why music is so powerful for us? We relate to music because it says all the things our hearts are screaming that we are too distracted to listen to most days. 

As mentioned above, the lyrics spoke to me, so deep that it made me cry profusely. It made me realize that there were so many people who didn't give up on me while i gave up on them. They were and still are there for me even my darkest moments. That moment i felt a unique sensation of immense joy and regret. After that night, my life has never been the same. 

We should all to try to make a difference in someone's life everyday. It can be simple as just suggesting them a good song or a good book to read. There are lots of people like me out there who are just looking for that moment of clarity in life. I'm lucky that i got mine in time to appreciate the things in my life that make me who i'm today. My friends, my family, my... ummm , never gave up on me. They were there for me even when i lost faith in all. And if you want to feel how i felt, then imagine the people who love you singing this aloud to you. 

Recognizing your emotions is okay. It is okay to feel things, and it is okay to cry, and it is okay to be so happy you can’t stop smiling. That way you feel when your favorite song comes on ? It’s okay to keep that feeling with you the rest of the day. In fact, if everyone were more open about how they felt and were more candid with their emotions, it would be easier to communicate with people. You wouldn’t be scared to have a conversation with someone.

Take a moment the next time you hear a song that makes you feel something. Take a moment and remember that feeling and allow it to really sink into your entire being. And carry that with you when you’re in a situation that calls for you to talk about or confront emotion. You’ll find music can probably make you speak more easily than anything else.