Savin' Me....

"Take a breath, I pull myself together

Just another step until I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you...
I wish that I could tell you something to take it all away


Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up 'til it's over
If it takes you forever, I want you to know...


When I hear your voice,
It's drowning in the whispers
It's just skin and bones, There's nothing left to take
And no matter what I do, I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer to help me understand...

If you fall, stumble down, I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you, I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up,'Cause I'll be waiting if you fall
You know I'll be there for you


If only I could find the answer to take it all away... "

It is true about what they say about music - it's life changing. It changes how you see things in life. It changes your perspective on simple things that you might have had a different opinion about. It changes your attitude towards your friends, family and loved ones. For better or for worse....

You can just feel good music when you hear it, you feel it in your heart, scream it out through your lungs until you feel the goosebumps all over through your body.

The year was 2008 if i recall properly and I was just getting over Bollywood and Hip Hop (believe it or not). Not that anything is wrong with that, its just that all the songs which were aired over the radio and television were themes related to partying, gambling, affairs, drugs, sex and alcohol. Add a groovy beat to it you can sway away any teenager who thinks he/she knows it all.

After some harsh events in my life, i took comfort in some of the above mentioned. Broke up with the only girl who gave a shit about me, disconnected with my family members especially my mother.
Nothing seemed right at that moment. Every thing i tried doing, i failed, miserably if i may add. Disappointed every one i know. Spent many sleepless nights thinking about how i was gonna make it through the next day. As the days progressed i did not see my situation improving until one day.

I still remember it clearly, it was during the early morning school assembly where i saw my school pastor playing the guitar on a gospel song called " Shepherd of my soul". Not that i was influenced by the song but the thing that got me was the sound coming out of the hollowed instrument. I sat there watch him play and even in the loud chitter-chatter among my friends, i could hear every note he played. 

For many days after that, assembly session would be the time i would look forward to. The rest of the day would just go by without even making any sort of difference to me but for those brief 15 mins in the morning, i would feel alive. 

Few months later, my dad would buy me my first guitar (basically the only thing i'm thankful to my dad for). It was cheap 300 buck 2nd hand fenDAR f cut guitar. It didn't come with any fancy packaging, heck it didn't even have all the strings attached. But that guitar was the best thing to happen to me in a very long time. I would spend almost the whole day locked up in my room trying to tune the damn thing. At that time i didn't have a tuner, neither a app to help me with it. At times i would get frustrated and just throw it away, but again i would pick it up and try again. After trying about gazzllion times, i finally managed to tune it and eventually learned how to play simple songs with it.

But this blog post is not about how i learned how i learned to play guitar....

Since i knew how to play easy stuff on the guitar, i decided to expand my horizons a bit and venture into the kind of music which i thought was "NOISE".
I got introduced to artists like Creed, Alter bridge, Killswitch Engage, BFMV, Linkin Park, Nickelback (Yes nickelback), Avril Lavigne, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Bryan Adams etc. I just fell in love with the music these people created. It was so much better than the crap i used to hear. It had meaning, it had application, most importantly i could relate to it. 

As i was going through all the new music from artists from across the globe, i came across a song called Save You by then famous punk rock band called Simple Plan (i'm sure most of you have heard of them). This song even being a simple four chord song like most punk songs, gave me chills from the moment i heard it first. I remember just lying down in bed and playing it over and over again till the sun came up. Isn’t this why music is so powerful for us? We relate to music because it says all the things our hearts are screaming that we are too distracted to listen to most days. 

As mentioned above, the lyrics spoke to me, so deep that it made me cry profusely. It made me realize that there were so many people who didn't give up on me while i gave up on them. They were and still are there for me even my darkest moments. That moment i felt a unique sensation of immense joy and regret. After that night, my life has never been the same. 

We should all to try to make a difference in someone's life everyday. It can be simple as just suggesting them a good song or a good book to read. There are lots of people like me out there who are just looking for that moment of clarity in life. I'm lucky that i got mine in time to appreciate the things in my life that make me who i'm today. My friends, my family, my... ummm , never gave up on me. They were there for me even when i lost faith in all. And if you want to feel how i felt, then imagine the people who love you singing this aloud to you. 

Recognizing your emotions is okay. It is okay to feel things, and it is okay to cry, and it is okay to be so happy you can’t stop smiling. That way you feel when your favorite song comes on ? It’s okay to keep that feeling with you the rest of the day. In fact, if everyone were more open about how they felt and were more candid with their emotions, it would be easier to communicate with people. You wouldn’t be scared to have a conversation with someone.

Take a moment the next time you hear a song that makes you feel something. Take a moment and remember that feeling and allow it to really sink into your entire being. And carry that with you when you’re in a situation that calls for you to talk about or confront emotion. You’ll find music can probably make you speak more easily than anything else.